Let me tell you a story that will put everyone's mind at ease. A number of years ago (sorry, I can't reveal the exact date), I contracted the
Scatman-55 virus. While I know that this virus swept the country, apparently I was the only one weak enough to come down with it, or at least the only one to admit it. The symptoms were not to be taken lightly: the overriding desire to start wearing a kilt, a thing for funny little bicycle caps, an almost immediate need to get to the Yellowstone backcountry, a loss of my natural fear of Grizzly Bears, and the occasional smart-ass responses on various backcountry forums. According to health care professionals, the symptoms may last a lifetime, and unfortunately for me there is no known cure. I'm just going to have to accept my fate.

Now in order to avoid the Scatman-55, you'll need to do the following: 1. Don't listen to bagpipe music, participate in St. Patrick Day parades, or imbibe in Irish Car Bombs. 2. Stay at least 200 miles from the GYE (Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem) 3. Believe all the horror stories you hear about bears, and last but not least - 4. Don't be tempted by all the wonderful backcountry advice, trip reports, weather conditions, and gear suggestions on BCP, etc...... If you you should find yourself wavering and slip up on the recommended guidelines, then this is what potentially will happen to you:
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Trust me, you don't want to wake up one morning and find yourself in this condition.