The story of a frustrated middle aged suburban wilderness lover!

forest dweller

forest dweller

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Aug 13, 2019
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I whipped the following "story" together the other day. It's rough and I'm sure I'd like to add or emphasize a few more things so I will be editing it in spare time in the coming days...but I wanted to get it up here now because long story short I'm looking for others to backpack with in the second and third week of August:


The story of a frustrated middle aged suburban wilderness lover!

It started with my father taking me car camping in the Catskills as a young boy. I loved that so much...the forest, the mountains, the ponds with frogs and turtles. The campfires, the sleeping in a tent as a family. I had 3 other siblings, I think I appreciated it the most.

Fast forward 8 years and I have an opportunity to do my first backpacking trip in high school. It was the Wittenberg Cornell Slide loop in the Catskills...done in one weekend and rained the entire weekend but I saw the potential in "real" camping.

A few years later I'm a 17 year old starting to look at maps and being blown away by pictures I'm seeing on calenders...places like Banff and Glacier.

I find the Catskills on a map but further north there was a park 3 to 4 times the size of it. I was like WHOA!

At around the same time I saw something on public television about the Adirondacks. They were flying over them and the forest went on FOREVER. I was blown away and wanted to go there.

My father also took us camping at Lake George as a kid but I did not know where Lake George was. I still love this lake and need to get up there much more every summer.

So my father took me to the Adirondacks the first few times I was there. Now as an older teenager I'm into hiking and "real" / bigger wilderness.

We did a few backpacking trips into Marcy Dam and Lake Colden.

Since then, over the last 30 years, I have been to some of the best and most remote parts of the Adirondacks, on foot and by canoe. In all seasons. Camped in leantos in winter. Snowshoes Mt Colden. But I particularly love the fall in a great color year. I've already decided that when I die I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes scattered off of a ledge on a high peak on a windy day!

But I caught the bug, and I wanted to experience BIG TIME backcountry...

The only problem is I did 12 years in the Navy and went home to family in New York on leave....made it to the Adirondacks a bunch on leave...

Then started low paying / not generous jobs in my thirties. No money / very little paid time off.

At 39 I finally landed a pretty good job with pretty good pay...unfortunately in the NYC suburbs. It's almost impossible to get a true wilderness fix on weekends where I live. But I snowball effected into this pretty good job you can't walk away from after you have invested 15 years in...it's a guaranteed pretty good job, next to impossible to lose if I don't do something stupid, and unless the world or country collapses I will be getting about the same income or more in retirement as I am working. I'm committed. Not happy about it but I put my time in and I'm closer to the other end. I'm chained to where I DON'T want to live at least until I retire.

Anyhow in the first 5 years it was only 2 weeks vacation and one week was a break up week.

5 to 10 years I finally had 3 weeks vacation but one was a break up week, and during this time I fell in love with downhill skiing, so one week went to that.

I'm at 16 years now, I will be 56 years old in August. I get 5 weeks vacation. One is a break up week. I now ski out west 2 weeks a year. (I love that as much as I love camping in No Man's Land!

This leaves 2 weeks (now that I finally get 5 weeks vacation).

But MAN one week sucks. VERY stressful. Feels like the clock is ticking as soon as you arrive. Three days of crap weather in the heart of the week and it's demoralizing. NOW, from here on out, if I can find people to go with, and they can go for 2 weeks, I will ALWAYS go for no less than 2 weeks from here on out. And that's the minimum. In retirement, if I'm healthy in my early sixties, I'm thinking about big van or small RV life. I want to see more wildlife and trees and less people for as long as possible!

Anyhow I went out to Glacier once and Banff twice for one week, no permits or reservations. I was a freaking spaz....rush rush rush....get poured on, crappy 3 day forecast...throw a fit!

Let's hold this here for now.

I've had numerous backpacking friends / family over the years, but they have come and gone, and I'm in a part of my life now where more have gone.

I'm not interested in backpacking alone. Not something I can do. Maybe I'm psychologically more of an extrovert. I'm not going into the wilderness alone, for assorted reasons. Ain't happening.

Freaking Meetups...too many are regular weekend trips...leave this area after work on Friday....get up there late at night...backpack two 15 mile days and then drive back 4 hours. Can't do that.

So I'm averaging a trip a year or less now.

And since I'm getting older 40 / 45 pounds feels pretty heavy now. But I don't know what to leave back to lighten the load, there is nothing I want to leave back for various reasons!...and I do this so rarely now that I don't get practice getting comfortable....leaving stuff back...getting my pack weight down.

I have good gear...Mystery Ranch pack, Exped pad, MSR stove and mess kit, NEMO tent...I might bring too much clothes and food and gas...

Anyhow, my wife also use to go backpacking with me a bit but she's been dealing with health issues...we went to Banff a few years ago. It was a stressful one week trip. I have learned since then that if we can go we should go for 2 weeks...if something goes wrong like weather...we will probably still get enough good moments going for 2 weeks.

The last 2 or 3 summers I dreamed of backpacking out west...printed and laminated a bunch of maps in the Thorofare region...but had nobody to go with. I got really down. Between really wanting to go and being really frustrated over not going too often ONLY because I didn't have someone to go with....to starting to sweat my age....feeling like I need to do these things in the coming years because that health window could theoretically shut for me sometime in the coming years.....I really feel bad every time I have 2 weeks to go pretty much anywhere and nobody to go with.

This happened to me last year and I couldn't find anyone to backpack with so I said **** it, I'm going to Prague...and that's what I did!

This year Dreamer / Eric has invited me out to the Wind River range but I wonder if the logistics will work out. My vacation is in mid August and he said he has to wrap things up in mid to late August. I think he mentioned a 5 or 6 day trip. But a few things...I really wanted to experience the Thorofare and / or Lamar Valley. I also want to come out for 2 weeks and hopefully get two 5 day trips out of it...OR if I could figure out how to pack properly and get 7 or 8 days of food to fit in a bear container...I wouldn't mind doing a 7 or 8 day trip plus maybe another 4 day trip.

I don't know. I'm just thinking quenching a thirst...scratching an itch I've had for a long time...doing a dreamed of bucket list trip...I've wanted to see Open Creek meadows with my own eyes since I saw Joey's and Jarl's video of that area...it blew me away. I've wanted to walk up on the Thorofare Plateau or even camp up there since seeing the National Geographic picture of the elk herd up on it.

I'd also be very interested in backpacking in Washington, particularly Olympic NP and perhaps North Cascades.

Any of you interested in joining a youthful, experienced (but perhaps a little "rusty"!) 56 year old backpacker for a week in the Thorofare in August? Be even better if we could get 2 or 3 of us to go. Might even sweeten the pot enough to get Eric / Dreamer to join us!

I saw a TikTok video recently where a guy was saying people think they die at 90, but they die a little here and a little there before their final death at 90...he mentioned hiking or backpacking trips in the Himalayas in his forties or fifties, and he didn't know if those times would be the last time doing that. I'll be FIFTY SIX in August and I keep myself in pretty good shape, but let's face it, at this age you start feeling and seeing the downturn ahead of you...and you never know if that downturn will be precipitous or gradual. It feels overdue in finding my peeps and getting on with making a few dream trips come true.

I'm at an age in which it feels urgent to do this as soon as possible. Anyone want to help a guy do that?
 
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for various reasons I have a grueling year coming up at work and I'm not going to be getting out that much, but I like your program and motivation here!!!

just recently a friend of mine died, he came down with something Parkinson-like almost immediately after retiring, and ended up not enjoying his retirement even a little bit. let's all try not to do that
 
One suggestion. The weather in the Sierra Nevada in the summer is usually a lot better than the Rockies. We don't get the thurnderstorms every afternoon, and when we do get them, they tend to be short and manageable. And many trailheads are not that far from an aiport (Reno, Fresno, even Las Vegas). I'd look at itineraries in the Sierra, where you can spend a week and just possibly relax a bit while you do it.

I'll probably be doing a fair amount of trail crew work after August 15. You're always welcome to join in!
 
Go with Bob's group! Couldn't have a better group to hike with.

I've had good experience with my Meetup group. Had some killer long weekends in northern NE. Yes, it's a long drive, but great people, learn a lot and those big routes keep me in good hiking shape. Same group has gone all over the world on week long adventures (including Olympics, Pantagonia, Banff). Don't do those since it's usually the same time I'm in the Winds.
regehr said:
ended up not enjoying his retirement even a little bit. let's all try not to do that
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Same happened to both my grandfathers. Turning 66 in Aug myself. Mostly self-taught, solo backpacker. Was easing myself into longer and tougher trips each year. Got some wise advice a couple of years ago: "Quit doing the easy routes. Do the hard ones while you still can."

Be great to see the Sierra's again. Never had a chance to backpack them. North Cascades have some spectacular routes as well. So many great places... so little time, but I'm attached to the Winds. Been going there for 20 years. So much there left to see and I still need to land a golden or three...
 
Bob said:
Heading for 5 days to thorofare about Aug 12.... You could attend that.
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This is a possibility. Where do you hope to hit back in there? Which trailhead do you want to access from? How many miles per day do you like to hike?
 
One question... How are you off trail and on steep slopes no trail. Have a couple routes looking at. Deer creek to Hidden cyn to younts. Yellowstone point. Two ocean. Buffalo plateau area. I like to keep at about 7 map miles day. But up to about 11m
 
Bob said:
One question... How are you off trail and on steep slopes no trail. Have a couple routes looking at. Deer creek to Hidden cyn to younts. Yellowstone point. Two ocean. Buffalo plateau area. I like to keep at about 7 map miles day. But up to about 11m
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Well I have to be honest with you. Most of my backpacking has been in the heavily forested northeast and I have remained on the trail. I've wanted to do some off trail stuff out west since it looks quite a bit more open and there seems to be endless possibilities. I imagine I'd do alright route finding with maps and gaiagps on my phone. (would have to keep my phone charged)
Steeps might freak me out if I'm in a "fall you die" area!
I read that the Deer Creek trail is a bit dangerous, especially trying to pass outfitters on horseback?
I was looking at the Ishawooa Creek area last year when I was imagining what I'd do if I went out there.
My biggest concern is getting older and being new to backpacking out west and not backpacking enough to really get my backpack weight under control...not backpacking enough to make the hard choices of what to leave back...maybe not bringing so much food, too many fuel cannisters etc.
I have an achilles tendon that has been acting up but ironically it seems to get better as the day goes on not worse.
I really want to do backpacking trips like this, I wouldn't want to slow anyone down.
I noticed that if you go up North Buffalo Creek all the way you get off trail and you can keep climbing until you are on the Buffalo Plateau, heading in the direction of Younts Peak..
Watching Norwegian Explorer's video of that area it looks remote and treeless...I'm a fan of trees.
 
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I concur, getting out west with either @Bob or @Dreamer would be a fantastic way to get into backpacking in the west.

There's only one way to discover what you can leave back, and that's going on a trip and seeing what you didn't use. My guess is that either of these two would go over your list of items pre-trip and tell you what was unnecessary. They may also lovingly give you hell for things being far heavier than they need to be - not that I'd know from experience. ;)

If you're anything like me, your mind builds up scary thoughts about things you've not yet encountered. Going on a trip with people with as much experience as either of these two will get you to encounter these things and see they're not nearly the boogeymen you've made them out to be. The key is you've got to go.

It could very well be a life changing experience.
 
SteveR said:
@forest dweller Seems to me that this is an opportunity not to be missed. Do it! And as an added bonus- maybe the scatman is also going, or maybe I'm inferring too much from his recent trip report?
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Two separate groups, but we might be meeting somewhere around Hidden Creek.
 
So I'm dying to go. And I'm terrified. Mostly of what my pack weight will be for 9 days...or the tough choices that have to be made to get pack weight down...and the pre trip prep always gives me anxiety, but this one will be a doozy.
I think the hiking itself will be no harder than, maybe easier than, what I'm use to in the northeast, except for pack weight and elevation and how I react to that.
The remoteness and the beauty is what I crave...it's also pretty scary to be that far away from help.
And only the second time backpacking in grizzly habitat...and I think the population is more dense than in Banff.
Many of you were lucky individuals that were able to backpack quite often....were also smart to "dial in" your gear, getting your pre-food pack weights down substantially.
Me only going once or twice a year or every other year...for 4 days or so....as I got older I realized I probably had a gear weight problem...if I will continue to do this into late middle and old age...but I managed it for 4 day trips and then didn't go again for a while...and never addressed it. And I like my gear. It's good gear. Solid gear. But it's not gear bought with low weight in mind. It's not super heavy gear, I guess not until you weigh up those ounces here and ounces there.
But maybe that's only a 7 pound difference. Maybe more.
I'll be 56 next month. I do 4 days / 150 minutes of cardio every week...but I'm tired! I'm not so tired on the weekends but I'm tired of the Monday through Friday wake up at 6, hot muggy drag ass northeast work week.
This trip would require planning, preparation...many dotted i's and crossed t's...feels like work...before I even know what my pack weight will be...which I'm scared to find out!
I either gotta get my **** together...or my ideal trip would be something like this...but a group of 4...and a few of us have stoves and a few of us have water filtration...a few gas canisters...I don't know...maybe that shaves less weight than it seems.
I'm not whining here...I guess I am...I just want this trip to be pain free...easy prep...manageable weight....but not by leaving behind something I feel is essential...and I'm afraid there will be a lot of that!
I want my phone charged always. I want to feel clean and dry, at least when I go to sleep. I want to like the food I'm eating, but particularly dinner! But I want it with manageable weight riding on my hips!
 
Lol..... pack it up and come out.... Only keep guessing unless you experience it.. we can shave your pack weight out here....

and I said.... Don't sweat the bears
 
My training is behind too. Impossible to hike (forget backpacking) in this hot/humid East Coast nonsense. Busy trying to see if my new ULA Circuit will work for this year's trip. As for pain free trips - don't ever think I've had one of those. I like challenge. :cool:
 
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Lol.... Hot ? Humid? Was 36 degrees at my house last night... Awwwwwww
 
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